Every night before my kids go to bed, ever since they were little, part of our bedtime routine involves me reciting Zephaniah 3:17 to our children. Some nights they say it with me. Some nights, it’s just me saying it. I had not heard (or at least I don’t remember hearing) this verse until I was in college, even though I grew up in the church. When I heard it for the first time, I remember thinking, “Is this really true? Why haven’t I heard this before? Is this for real?” Ever since then, it has been one of my most favorite verses and it has been a huge encouragement to me. It grounds me. It recalibrates me. It reminds me what is really true about who God is, about what he does, and about who I am, especially when I’m confused, tired, anxious, or fearful. The verse goes like this.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Part of why I speak this over my children before they go to bed is because I want the last thing they hear before they go to sleep to be this truth. Despite what they are facing, despite what they are thinking and feeling, I want them to be reminded of what is true about who their God is and who they really are in His sight. My hope is this verse will encourage you as a parent and it will be an encouragement to your children as well as we start a new school year.

“The LORD your God is with you…” This is a promise that is often repeated in the Scriptures. When we feel alone, whether it’s because our children are out of the house and at school, or it’s because we are experiencing some sort of relationship difficulty, God reminds us that we are not alone. He is with us. He has not abandoned us and left us to figure out everything on our own. That is such good news to us. We don’t have to figure out everything on our own for ourselves or for our children. We have a God who pledges himself to us and who promises to never leave us or forsake because Jesus was forsaken on the cross. Jesus received silence on the cross when he cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me,” as he endured the punishment that we deserved for our sins. If we are trusting in Jesus’ finished work on the cross and in his resurrection from the dead for us, that means we can have the confidence and the assurance that Jesus’ words from John 6:37-39 are true. Jesus said, “All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day.” Jesus will never lose us or drive us away. Jesus, Immanuel, is God with us and he pledges himself to his disciples and us as he ascends into heaven (Matthew 28:20). We are not alone despite what our feelings and our circumstances tell us. Our children are not alone, even if they are having a hard time making friends and lunch and recess are the most difficult parts of their day. The God of the Universe that made us, that died for us, that loves us, is with us and promises to never leave us. We can face the struggles that come from the brokenness around us and inside of us knowing that we are not facing them alone, but we have the presence of God himself with us and that can give us great strength and courage to endure and handle any and every difficulty that this year throws our way.

“He is mighty to save…” Whatever danger, frustration, difficulty we or our children are facing, we know that the God who created the world, who rescued his people from slavery in the Exodus, who came in the person of Jesus to suffer and die on a cross and defeated sin and death through his resurrection, is not only with us, but he can also do something about our situation. We are invited here to remember how Jesus saved and rescued us from our sin through his grace and how he promises he will one day return to set all things right, to make all things new, and to wipe every tear from our eyes and rid this world once and for all from death, mourning, crying and pain. Jesus is not powerless in the face of our difficulties, but in fact he has triumphed over them through his death and resurrection. Now that does not mean we or our children will not face difficulties, trials, and suffering, and it doesn’t mean that they will go away immediately because Jesus is with us. But it does mean that we are not alone in our suffering, and Jesus has demonstrated his power to save us through the cross and the empty tomb and we can cling tight to the idea that “if it’s not ok, it’s not the end,” because Jesus has promised that he will make all things right in the end. Remembering his mighty power to save encourages us to pray and ask God to be at work bringing his kingdom into the present so that right now might begin to look like it will when Jesus returns. Hebrews 4:15-16 remind us, “15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Jesus understands and empathizes with our weaknesses and he is not some powerless idol. He is the One true God, who creates by the word of his power, who takes on sin and death himself and defeats it for us, and who promises that he is in the business of making all things new. In our time of need, confusion, insecurity and distress, we run with confidence to the throne of grace where the King of the Universe (who is with us!) sits ready to work and keep his promise that he is working out all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).

“He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” What does God think about you? We often wrestle deeply with this question if we allow ourselves to ask it all. We might answer, “Well, when I’m following him and obeying him, he’s happy with me. But when I fail or am struggling, he’s disappointed or mad at me, waiting to drop the hammer of his punishment on me.” Friends, if we are trusting in Jesus, let this verse and Galatians 2:20 and Hebrews 10:10,14 and Romans 8:1 be the truest thing about us and be the way we think about what God thinks about us.

Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Hebrews 10:10 and 14 say, “And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all…For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

When we look at ourselves, we see and acknowledge our sin and brokenness (our sin nature, our shortcomings and selfishness, our pride, even our “good works,”) before God, we are sorry for them, and we turn to God and ask for forgiveness and repent, which means to turn away from our sin and turn toward Jesus.  It means when we trust that Jesus lived the perfect life for us and suffered all of our punishment for our sins on the cross, we are no longer alive. “It is no longer I who live!”  But we are dead, and Christ is alive in us. 

The next thing we must understand is that we are dead.  My identity is gone.  All that is me, all that I've used for my identity, all that I've used to give me significance and value (my efforts, my achievements, my money, my goodness, my badness, my skills, my looks, my friends, my parenting, the things that I use to get value and significance, etc...it’s all gone!). Those things are not what establishes or defines my relationship with God.  Dead people don’t get credit for the things they do and dead people don’t get demerits for the things they do or don’t do.  

So if I’m dead and Jesus is alive in me, who am I?  Galatians tells us, the identity of Christ is substituted for mine! We are given a new identity!

One of my favorite movies is A Knight's Tale.  Heath Ledger plays William, a man who wishes he was a knight, but he is just a poor, peasant. He doesn't have the right family, he doesn't have the right papers. So he forges his family tree to give him a noble birth and he enters into a competition that only noble born knights can compete in.  He is ultimately discovered and he is imprisoned and the Count who has been out to destroy him meets him in his prison cell and tells him, "You have been weighed and you have been measured. And you have been found wanting." Don't we feel like that sometimes? His identity is that of a poor peasant, there is nothing important, noble or good about him. In the next scene we see William in the stocks in the public square being mocked and humiliated and his friends come to defend him and they only make it worse. And then...Prince Edward shows up. He orders the guards to release William, and the prince asks William to kneel in front of him and he knights him, Sir William. And now he is given this new identity when he arises, not based on his performance or who his family is. Now he has all the benefits and status as a knight. And when the people look at him now, they don't see a poor, unworthy peasant, but a noble knight.

When we come to Jesus in faith, we too are given a new identity, not based on us anymore, so now, when God looks at us, he sees Jesus, and not our sins, and blemishes.  His identity as perfect Jesus is substituted for ours as broken, sinful mess. We actually have Jesus inside of us. We are now united to Him, and Him to us, so now we have all that is his. We have all of his power, perfectness, holiness, good decision making, love, compassion, mercy, whatever. We have access to all that is his, because He is in us because of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection on our behalf.  So when God looks at you, if you are in Him, he doesn’t see some struggling parent or difficult kid who acts like they have it all together but is falling apart on the inside, he doesn’t see some broken, angry, rebellious, ashamed, guilty parent or child... He sees HIS SON JESUS.  

So,What does God actually do when he looks at us if we are Christians? What does God think about us if we are His? We’d say that God loves Jesus right? How much? A lot? The most? Well, if Jesus is inside us, and God sees Jesus when he looks at us... how do you think he feels about us? 

This is what I want you to hear...If you are God's through faith in Jesus, then God loves you as much and to the same degree that he loves Jesus.  Let that soak in.  I'm going to say it again. If you are His, God loves you as much and to the same degree that he loves Jesus. If you are His, God is not angry with you or waiting for you to get your act together. He loves you. He’s not disappointed in you, he delights in you.  Now that doesn’t mean we do whatever we want and that there aren't consequences for our sinful actions, but we do not have this angry judge looking at us. God isn’t waiting for you to screw up so he can punish you and condemn you. Romans 8:1 says, all the punishment and condemnation you and I deserve was taken out on Jesus, once for all. There’s none left for you. Do you believe that? There’s none left for you. It’s all gone. Then, Zephaniah actually says that God sings over his people. When God sees you he sings. We have this loving father who cannot contain himself when he looks at you. He has to burst out into song. He delights in you so much that he has to sing! That is your deepest reality whether you feel it or not.

That is why every night before my kids go to bed, when we are done with stories, and praying and singing, the last thing they hear before they go to sleep are these words. I look at them and I speak these words to them so that they seep into their lives and hearts, so that no matter what happens, no matter who hurts them, no matter what they do, no matter what they are hearing or thinking about God, they will remember this truth. My God loves me, delights in me, saves me, and sings over me. 
My hope is that you will remember these words this week and this year and they will be an encouragement to you and your family.

I love his words. “It’s impossible to make too much of Jesus.” As parents who are followers of Jesus, what do we make much of? We make much of getting our children to obey, to succeed, to prevent them from experiencing pain, suffering, or failure. We make much of getting things done around the house or at work. We make much of trying to achieve comfort and ease. We make much of worrying about what tomorrow may bring. We make much of acting like we have it all together and don’t need any help, or putting on the facade that we’re really ok, when we know we are struggling, discouraged, and fearful. We make much of trying to get our kids to behave and look good because we personalize their failures, shortcomings, and sinful actions as reflections on us. We make much of prioritizing outward appearances rather than pursuing and shaping our children’s hearts.

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. Having our children obey is a good thing. Doing good work in the home and at work are good things. Enjoying times of comfort should be celebrated. I’m not trying to heap on the guilt and shame that we all so readily have available to us. But what would it look like for us as parents to make much of Jesus? Remember, we can’t make too much of Jesus.
We often relegate Jesus to Sunday mornings, our quiet time, and maybe another time or two during the week. But what about after a long day at work or of being home with the kids? What about when you’ve spent 2 hours in car line? What about when you don’t want to cook dinner or clean up the dishes? What about when you’re tired and your kid needs help with their homework? What about when your kids have broken the unspoken agreement that “there will be no parenting after 9PM” and you have to respond to a tired and grumpy child, a fight or argument, or another drink of water?

My tendency is to make much of me in those moments. And my kids know it. My comfort and “deserved” rest is being violated. My desires for control, respect, and quiet are being threatened. I forget Paul Tripp’s advice to see disruptions, sinful behaviors, frustrations, not as interruptions, but as opportunities to show the love and grace of Jesus to children; as opportunities to show them and teach them about the existence and character of the God who made them and loves them, who made and loves me (!), and who called me to be their parent so they might know Him.

What if I made much of Jesus, not just on Sundays, but all day, every day? What if I was constantly rehearsing the truth of the gospel that Jesus came and lived and died and took my penalty for my sins on the cross, and he defeated my sin (ALL sin) and death there, and there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)? What if I began to to trust that God actually loves me and sees Jesus when he looks at me? What if I began to believe and live out of Galatians 2:20, that “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”? What if the love and grace God has shown me as a sinner saved by grace and not by my own works informed the way I love, listen to, and parent my children?

Parenting is a full contact sport. All of our baggage, our feelings, our insecurities, our shame, our fears come out in difficult moments. That’s why it’s crucial for us to remember who we are in Jesus and whose we are! We are not our own, we are the dearly loved children of the God of the Universe, those in whom He delights. We have been called by God to partner with Him in pursuing the hearts of our children, in reflecting the love of God we’ve received by Him back to them, and in mirroring God’s kindness that leads to repentance. It’s not our job to be the Holy Spirit for ourselves or our children. But we get to make much of Jesus with them. Remember we can never over-adore, over-love, or over-serve Jesus.

How can we make much of Jesus this week with our kids, especially when they are tired, frustrated, hurting, discouraged, angry, and disobedient? Jesus is gracious with us when we don’t measure up and continues to pour his grace out into our lives. Because that’s true, we can enter into those moments of disruption and see them as moments of opportunity to show God’s love and grace to our children.

A couple ideas to consider:

1. Spend some moments every day to remember who God is (Ex. 34:5-7) and who He says you are now because of Jesus’ sacrifice for you (Gal. 2:20, Hebrews 10:10,14, Titus 3:3-8). Preach the gospel to yourself every day.
2. This week, when things are tough, when your kids are reminding you that they need grace, and you’re discouraged, pray for the Spirit to be at work reminding you of His love for you and your child, and let His grace for you shape your response to your children in your parenting.
3. Be ready to fail and ask for forgiveness, and remind yourself you need to rely on God’s grace moment by moment.